It is said that a person needs to read a lot to be able to write good. I too believed in the same and started putting more focus on reading. This made inconsistency in my work. And to be honest, it was more than just that. I had a fear- My next blog has to be better. But fear only paralyses, especially when it comes to creativity. I learnt that I won’t grow if I don’t write, fail, read more, repeat. [Actually, in creativity, it’s like- input–>process–>output.]
So if you were disappointed with no blogs recently, get used to it, because I don’t write if it’s shit.
It’s always hard to begin, but once I start writing, it gets easier.
So there has been a lot going on lately. I’ve completed my three years in B.Sc., except the final exam. And coming to my future plans, I’m almost clear what I’m going to do. I’m always trying to figure out the way I’ll achieve it. In fact, most of my days’ time is spent in either thinking of an idea or getting lost into distractions. That’s when he came to solve my problem.
‘Hey, what are you doing?’ he asked.
‘Just trying to figure out a way to make a living out of my passion’, I answered but still busy on my smartphone.
‘You have been doing that for hours. Did you find anything?’
I thought he was taunting me, ‘You came here to preach me! Please, I know what I’m doing.’ I said very rudely.
‘I’m not here to preach you. You know what you are doing’, he calmed me down and continued, ‘So tell me what you are actually doing?’
‘As I said, I’m just reading a few articles that will help me to build a plan for my career.’ I answered as honestly as I could.
‘But from where I’m seeing it, it looks like you are trying to distract yourself away from the pains of studying for your exam.’
‘Oh no no, it’s not like that, I’ll study after I finish this planning.’
‘All these days, you have been saying the same thing to yourself, but at the end of the day, you simply get tired and rush to bed. Please stop procrastinating. Your exams are nearer now.’ Yeah, he was preaching.
‘Hey, you know my life is going through a lot of ups and downs…’ I said in my defense when he interrupted.
‘Bullshit! Do you even know what ups and downs are? You laze all day and do nothing but blame everyone for distracting you. Let me rephrase your ups and downs- it’s called mood swings.
‘Ok, you may be right but I’ve to do things that I don’t like to which disturbs me a lot and I need stress-busters for it, like doing this thing that I like.’
‘Ok so now, you are not even procrastinating. You are ignoring away your exams completely.’
‘Not that I don’t want good marks, but it’s that I’ve other much important things to do.’
‘What else would be more important if you fail, huh? Problems don’t go away by ignoring them, they only build up more.’
I was listening patiently now, because he was making sense. He continued, ‘If you want good marks, work for it, everyday. I know you have performed brilliantly in the past. You can do it even today. You are strong, not weak! Study! It becomes fun when you put all your attention towards studying’
‘You are right. But things were different then. I hadn’t had any pressure to prepare for my career. And the ones who are studying hard are the ones who want a job out of their marks. I don’t want to do job. Why should I study?’
‘Listen man! You have to stop worrying about the future so much. Perhaps, you may not succeed in your persuasion…’
‘That’s overconfidence speaking. But listen to me, “Life is simple. Don’t make it complicated. Do one thing at a time.”, And even if you succeed, there will be a chance for you to fail terribly because of your habits- of getting easily distracted by something more interesting; of blaming circumstances for your failure; of not having any fun in any work’. He was all true about me. Staying focused on exams is the only right thing for me right now. But in doing so, I was afraid of losing any opportunity of getting into my passion. So I asked him, ‘Ok, I’m ready to focus on studies, and I’ll stop worrying the future. I’ll take the task in hand and complete it. But what if I miss any ideas or opportunities I may get during this time?’
‘See dude, exam time is meant to focus on exams, you are a student and should do your duty- study. Also see that if you clear all your subjects, you would have all the freedom that you want afterwards. Perhaps you need help on the problem of missing any opportunities. Tell me, do you have faith in yourself?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Problem solved! If you have faith, no matter what happens, you’ll find a way.’
And after saying this, he left. He just left me there, and for good. I still had a few doubts, but that last question he asked me overweighed all my doubts altogether.
Now you might ask- Who was He? Who did I talk to? Well, he could be anyone- Father, friend, teacher, well-wisher, or even I myself. You can think of anybody you like. But the whole point of this conversation was not the person in question, but the point that he made.
Thanks for reading. That’s all I’ve got for you today. I’ll see you in the next blog. Also I would love to know your take on cracking an exam.
Till then—- Be aware. Have curiosity. Crack an exam. Repeat.